Tuesday, September 05, 2006


I’m not very good a multitasking but I keep trying, sometimes with disastrous results. However, I did discover something this weekend that will kill two birds with one stone. Want to make over your house and your body? Well you can do both at the same time simply by laying laminate flooring. Seriously, the box needs a warning label like you see on workout videos: before beginning this or any other exercise/home improvement program consult your doctor.

The process goes something like this. Grab a plank of flooring, squat down and lay it on the floor in the precise position. Stand up. Grab another plank and squat down. Hammer the two together. Put them back in the precise position. Stand up. Grab another plank. Squat down. Measure and mark. Stand up. Cut plank to precise size. Squat down. Insert choice exclamation when you realize you’ve cut it wrong. Stand up. Grab another plank. Squat down. Repeat a million times.

Forget Buns of Steel. After eight hours of this, I could barely walk. But my entryway looks great. Only have the hall, living room, dining room, and kitchen to finish.

By the way, a good complement to your lower body workout is painting. Rolling color on an endless number of walls is great for the biceps, triceps, shoulders, and upper back. Your house will look great and you, well, you probably won’t be able to move, but the house will look great.

Next time, garden your way to good health. How shoveling two tons of gravel can be good for you.


CHickey said...

My husband installed this all through our downstairs. Needless to say, he's procrastinating on doing the upstairs. I can't wait to get rid of the carpet, but I'm not the one laying the laminate. Definitely not as easy as the video makes it out to be.

Michelle Pendergrass said...

LOL, I can guest blog on how pulling weeds and mulching will shape you.

I have pictures (no not of me!) the flower garden before, during and after! ;)

Jenny said...

Oh Jen, please don't let Phil see this! I'll never be able to move and they'll be wheeling us around in Dallas! "Just prop'm up in the corner guys and come back in 15 for the next appointment." Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, OUCH! Soak in a hot tub and get Peter to give you a massage, girl! (and send some pics of your handiwork--love to see!)

Abundant blessings,
Jenny Cary

Sabrina L. Fox said...

Remember I told you guys how I hurt for days after we did our wood laminate flooring. Sheesh. It was tough. And when we were finished we realized we could have went from the other direction and it would have been so much easier. Go figure.

I feel for ya! You should wait and make Malia help you next week. ;) She's young.

michael snyder said...

I fully expect to see you and Jen's Hubby on one of those four-hour Sunday morning infomercial thingies, where you guys will be all smiley and hawking your new exercise/home improvement videos.

I want to audition for one of the breathless, sweaty people on the back row!

Jennifer Tiszai said...

Ooh, I like the TV show idea. We could be the Tony Robbins of home improvement/exercise videos and books. 30 Days to a New You (and a New House!).

Jennifer Tiszai said...

Forgot to say, the downside is it's terrible for your manicure.